Ms. Dichotomous

by Joseph J. Biernacki

Meet the whimsical character Ms. Dichotomous, the hippopotamus with quite unexpected abilities.

Meet the nimble hippopotamus,

She’s not what you’d expect.

Her name is Ms. Dichotomous,

And worthy of respect.

She’s known for her amazing feats

Like painting with her toes,

And juggling flaming cannon balls,

While balanced on her nose.

She made us laugh one Christmas Eve

When dressed like Mrs. Claus

And in she came on roller skates;

It quickly drew applause.

She’s really kind and gracious too

And always stops for fans

She’ll gladly sign an autograph

While teetered on tin cans.

(January 2026)